5 Flights up

http://movietube.pw/watch.php?v=0_zMvKZFgfo


Just watched this movie

And it remembered me that sometimes we miss out the jewels in our lives
getting worked up over nothing
and forgetting what's the most important

Things we take for Granted

1. Parents
2. Our Time /Youth/ Lifespan
3. Chances/Opportunity/ 2nd chances

judging eyes

the omg wth dreamt abt scary things

ek kelvin joshua hadi kahkeong nat yuchao

greatest fears 

history hits u back

what u did

- hw copy, ppl don't give u credit, uc, ppl judge u, joshua, ek

judge all hr want

cos when h base on judgment kn others bases on urself, you're going to get a very unfair view of theworld

ppl will judge u too 

unsorted thoughts

sigh my post deleted itself therefore i am very sad. 

let me try to replicate it

as i mentioned, too many things to think abt over the last few days n week

- managment of emotions opinions resource

- everyone can be no 1

- 长江后浪推前浪，一代新人换旧人

- a race is easier if everyone wants to do better, as compared to just catching up, itll just depend on the first person

- what makes us happy

- 长痛 VS 短痛

- character 做人 shapes your experiences

- mountain: maybe its steep now, but maybe u just can't see the lift.  everyone has a different mountain

- setting targets : short term from long term

- keeping in sight what u want

- nor being afraid of failing cos good judgment comes from bad judgment 

- you wont have it easier outside too

- not be afraid of how ppl look at u

- understand what they feel and learn how to overcome it

- don't give up then regret

its not whetheru got it or not but whether u gave ur best

- don't lose confidence in yourself    change the method 

- what mel understood at 21: you'll only have more n more problems 

- -what u want 

worries

worry about the things i can control
and not about those i cant

managing emotions

a lot of things have happened recently thus decided to start blogging again to sort out my emotions and thoughts, though it is pretty time consuming i suppose

first significant event was the passing of mr lee.
honestly, i have thought of penning down a message for him but never did follow through.

there are just so many things waiting for me to do and so little time.
not sure what i am spending my time doing
#annoyed

it is already april oh gosh
time is passing so fast
a quarter of the year has passed already

but nothing much has changed in my life

mr lee's passing was a pretty confusing event for myself
i was concerned.
but i did not feel an emotional attachment
i was sad, but not too sad

wanted to go to pay respects when i read online that people who were disabled, elderly all went
but i didnt
because there was "simply no time", or so i thought
now the chance is totally gone




shall continue tmr :)

I was thinking about stuff.
What eekheng said today about direction made sense.
Perhaps for the last few months I have retarded in so many ways.
Trying to put a stop to this drought and progress.

A person's character is put to the test during the times when he does not do well.
I hope to get myself out of this period as soon as possible.

I am trying to face a few things i have been avoiding for the last few months.
Talking to Nat and treating him better.
Learning to do briefing and debrief.

Yet I don't think this is fast enough yet.
Things i have to change:
DO THINGS FASTER
REFLECT MORE
TALK TO MYSELF MORE
THINK


my thoughts about my current stage in the business:
I feel glad to have so many people with me right now. even though we arent earning the kind of income we desire i'm sure that these tough times wont last too long as long as we continue working hard

having seen people come and go, you just become numb about everything.
you arent sure what you are doing right or wrong
you lose confidence and trust in people and i hate that feeling
it's just fear


all i can do is try my best and hope for the best

managing expectations

just felt like visiting this place again
sometimes blogging or typing out your thoughts just feels liberating somewhat
it's like talking to a friend that you never had
this friend understands you and listens to you
guess everyone just wants a friend to talk to


brings me to something that i am trying to learn
which is, how to zuo4 ren2
building rapport and sustaining a relationship
as we grow older our social circle just inevitably gets smaller
probably because we feel we can judge people better and know who are our friends
but being in an environment that i am in now, i realised that you never know who might become your friends
i've made friends i never thought i'd have, and it has been a wonderful experience


i've been facing many problems in the recent months
from personal self doubt to relationship issues to school and definitely my career
it has been a huge roller coaster

stress is a given and definitely a lack of proper rest


im trying so hard to sustain this friendship
when being friends starts become hard
its either you move on or you drown together
many a times i do not know what to do anymore
when we're happy everything is fine
but most of the time we're just spreading negative thoughts to each other
it just aint how it all started
what should i do



career wise
i've had several hard knocks recently too
been trying so hard to no avail
with things affecting your momentum


(pause: reminder to self, this is just a release of some emotions. do move on and look for solutions after that. )




i'm just trying to get enough sleep and do everything well
theres so much to do and so little time

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My two cents worth about life

today was a pretty interesting day. its 5am now and my day hasnt ended. i'm typing this without andy spectacles on so its just me, my thoughts, and my keyboard.

so anyway just in a span of a few hours so few things have set off so many thoughts in me

we'll start from j's sharing which does tie in with one other event that just happened also.

A not-so-short reflection after j's sharing today:

What stuck me the most was what j shared about the dreams that we have, that our friends have, that the general public has.  J said something that was pretty true and I myself was once someone like that (tbh, for a large part of my life). Society brings us up to think this way, but this is hardly the fault of society. So what did J actually say?

J pointed out this reality about the world we are living in. Many of us are in search of this thing called “MY dream job” and allowing ourselves to be convinced that we are happy with such lives. Truth be spoken, there is a big difference between that and “MY dream hobby”.

But what exactly is “Dream”?

From my point of view, there is a drastic difference between goals and dreams. Dreams are things that out of reach; things we feel we cannot get but yet we desire so strongly for; things that can make us happy beyond any word or phrase or expression can describe.

Dreams are never simply challenges we set ourselves to overcome; things that we claim to strive to work towards to; things that are planted into us. Dreams are not goals.

What is our dream? We started the evening somehow coincidentally talking about our childhood dreams, bizarre as it might sound, many of us once thought that it would be really cool if we could be a power ranger and save the world. But how many of us are actually fighting for such a cause today? Most of us are instead fighting for our own survival in some way or another.

How many of us dare say that what we are fighting for now are things that we truly want? Let's ask ourselves, has the thought that "let's forget this. It's too bizarre, its impossible, its not my thing" ever crossed our minds? I do not claim that such thoughts do not go through my head, but how many of us are truly even aware of the fact that the thing we so claim to be our dream are not the things we truly desire for? Most of us are not even aware that we are our own biggest enemy, many a times doubting our own abilities and skills, undermining ourselves, allowing ourselves to sink into mediocrity, to accept something that we feel are within more our own bandwidth, our own comfort zone, our definition of success, shaped by society's perception and norms. We do not need to be outstanding, we just need to be ourselves, and dare to step out of our own safety zone, and not be afraid to make wrong decisions. For after all, we only regret the things we never do.

The spirit of daring to fight for what you want has died in many of us. I have begun on a path of self-discovery and fighting for my dream. Let’s not discount ourselves anymore.

wow i was so overwhelmed typing that it's so hard to continue with my other thoughts.

all i have to say is that let's start dreaming